Thursday, March 5, 2015

It’s all about that cape, ’bout that cape!

No doubt,

Never fear!  I have A-MA-ZING news. If you need a little help tapping into your inner Wonder Woman, today is your lucky day!

They make grown-up Wonderoos! You are welcome. I accidentally found them online when I googled “grown-up Wonderoos”!  Can you believe it?

No, FBI, I’m a little busy right now, but thank you for the job offer.  Head of Espionage is such a huge responsibility and requires so much time and dedication and I am super-busy being the self-elected Commander in Chic and think there might even be an executive conflict of interest.

However, please do not hesitate to call on me in the future as an honorary FBI agent. Also, does the honorary FBI agent position come with a charm for my charm bracelet or maybe a sparkley pin? Either way, I am always happy to help in any way I can.
Now, if you can’t decide between glow-in-the-dark Wonderoos

Or the one with a cape, I recommend getting both. Duh.
Since processing and shipping may take a day or two, we must start practicing our posture!
Up (excuse the pun) with testosterone! Down with cortisol! Also, I am going to see about adding a cape or two to my wardrobe immediately!
Why don’t I already own these?!?
These would even fit (and hide) when Skinny Jeans won’t cooperate! Tres chic.
And, of course, a diamond-encrusted one with 14 – karat gold buttons for every day.


Snowmaggedon vs. Hairmaggedon

So, I get the whole “snow day” concept for schools, government, churches and most businesses, BUT HAIR SALONS? Really?!?  Are you sure the roads are THAT dangerous? Did you see MY hair?

I guess not, because my appointment was oh-so-casually-rescheduled. Ugh. But TWO WEEKS! I mean what’s a girl to do? Whew. Two weeks til the next available appointment is like two weeks underwater! Some of you may argue that the title’s reference to Armageddon may be  a little dramatic, but it sure feels like the end-of-the-world to me.

To add insult to injury, I have a MISERABLE COLD. But I am not rescheduling, again!  Finally. Made it to the salon and home safely!

I still look pitiful from my cold but it is definitely an improvement and Scarlett O’Hara seems to love it!

My precious Hair Magician and I had one of our usual talks while I was at the salon.
Self: “Um, it still doesn’t look like the hair commercials!?!  Ugh.”
Magician: “Have you stopped twisting your hair constantly and tying knots with one hand in the ends when you get nervous and stressed?”
Self: shrug
Magician: “Have you stopped chewing the ends at night when you can’t sleep?
Self: half shrug
Magician: “Have you been using the products like we discussed? No, wait! Have you been using anything we DID NOT DISCUSS? Any African Hair Oil?”
Self: blank stare
Magician: “No worries. Let’s get started…”

I came home with a new set of products, assignments from the magician and an appointment for more magic in 8 weeks!  Hooray.

Magician thinks my flat iron is causing damage to my oh-so-fragile hair ends. I thought she was being a little dramatic til last week when I accidentally set the flat iron down next to this plastic bottle. Yikes.

I guess sandwiching my strands between two scalding pieces of metal while I squeeze and pull down repeatedly could cause a little damage over time.  But, it’s so pretty right after you do it.

So shiny and straight and silky and smooth and youthful and glamorous and luxurious. DAMMIT. Every beauty product and tool that actually works has some stupid side affect! Sheez.

Okay-uh! Fine-uh! I’ll try and do the stuff you said-uh! (Prince Charming says I add syllables to words when I get grumpy.)  WHATEVER-UH! I think I just miss the sunshine and fishing and tan lines and not having a cold…

I’m gonna perk up AND try my new hair products. Mostly cuz Sugar-britches just came down stairs to hug his mama and sit by the fire. Stay back, Tears, I mean it!

We just ordered pizza to celebrate snow days and fires, even with a cold!