It’s just so much to carry all the time. I try and be brave. I try and have courage. I try and stay positive. I try and see The Good. I try and make good choices. I try and do the things I have to do to stay sober and be the best mama, daughter, sister, wife, auntie, friend I can be. But. I’m. Tired. It’s a lot to bear and to bear all the time. I wish I could get out from under The Weight for just a little while. The Pain is real. My little heart is tired. Heartache is physically exhausting and actually hurts. I give it to God. I pray and I lean on Him, but The Pain is still there. I can’t help but ask God why? I know that He is a good God and does not test us, then what? What is it you want from me, God? Why do you think I am able or strong enough? What is The Good I can do with This Pain? Please light The Way so that I can go do It. I don’t question out of disrespect. I question because of My Faith. I believe. Help me use this pain for The Good. I am ready.