Baby gates…

Selfie w/Sugarbritches! Philadelphia-bound... #commanderinchic #nataliereddell #richmond #rva #basketballmama #thesquires #aaubasketball #aau #tournament #richmondsquires #squiresrichmond #philadelphia #fun #smothermother

Baby gates…

Missing the boy… #commanderinchic #nataliereddell #richmond #rva #motherhood #parenting #son #mom #family #ihategoodbyes #lettinggo #letgoandletgod #virginiawoolf #thatface #blessed #HurryHome

There are life moments that are so emotionally charged and significant that they take on a life of their own.  The bitter and sweet are bound up in each other in such a complex way that they become their own unique feeling.  So unique, that you can only identify it as a place you’ve been before if you have The Feeling again…

I am in the kitchen washing dishes while he plays on the floor next to me.  I am talking to him like he understands every word I say, because he does.  My mama told me that a baby’s ability to understand what you say to him is far more advanced than what he can express. The take away: Schuyler understands every single word I say to him.  The thing is, I know that already.  I see it in his face.  And, he knows that I know.

I grab something out of the pantry and come back into the room. Schuyler’s gone. A sense of panic is replaced by the realization that he must have started crawling!  I glance up to see the most precious little diaper heading down the hallway. THIS IS THE FEELING.  Joy, fear, excitement, heartache. Wait! Stop! It’s not safe! No, Go! There is an amazing world for you, precious boy.  How wonderful that you can explore it for yourself.  I want you to go and enjoy your freedom, but I want you to stay with your mama and be safe. Wonderful, awful, exciting and scary.  I am proud and afraid and sad and thrilled. The game has changed.  His world has just grown and I want him to love every inch of it but I also need to protect him.  

I had forgotten The Feeling til last week when that same baby boy got his license and started driving. The Feeling surprised and gripped me but I recognized it immediately. It was as if I were back in my kitchen standing next to his baby blanket with a Pacie in my pocket. Only, The Feeling is stronger and scarier with higher stakes and maybe even greater joy and excitement for this boy and the adventures that await him. Wait! Stop! It’s not safe! No, Go! There is an amazing world for you, precious boy.  How wonderful that you can explore it for yourself.  I want you to go and enjoy your freedom, but I want you to stay with your mama and be safe.  Wonderful, awful, exciting and scary.  I am proud and afraid and sad and thrilled. The game has changed.  His world has just grown and I want him to love every inch of it but I also need to protect him.

I want to put up baby gates! I want to know Schuyler is safe. I want him back on his baby blanket next to his mama where I can protect him. But, he needs to go and see for himself this big, beautiful, crazy, and wonderful world. And make mistakes and learn from those mistakes and grow and make his Own way. The Feeling hurts and scares me, but I have to remember the sweet part, not just the bitter. I have to remember that as his mama I am charged with the duty of instilling in him, to the best of my ability, a moral compass and sense of self that will replace the baby gates. I hope that by my example and mistakes, he will learn what to do and what not to do and to put his faith and hope in God. I pray that all the prayers, pep-talks, mistakes, and love for this baby are enough. And I pray that God’s Will Be Done.

It’s all about that cape, ’bout that cape!

No doubt,

Never fear!  I have A-MA-ZING news. If you need a little help tapping into your inner Wonder Woman, today is your lucky day!

They make grown-up Wonderoos! You are welcome. I accidentally found them online when I googled “grown-up Wonderoos”!  Can you believe it?

No, FBI, I’m a little busy right now, but thank you for the job offer.  Head of Espionage is such a huge responsibility and requires so much time and dedication and I am super-busy being the self-elected Commander in Chic and think there might even be an executive conflict of interest.

However, please do not hesitate to call on me in the future as an honorary FBI agent. Also, does the honorary FBI agent position come with a charm for my charm bracelet or maybe a sparkley pin? Either way, I am always happy to help in any way I can.

Now, if you can’t decide between glow-in-the-dark Wonderoos

Or the one with a cape, I recommend getting both. Duh.

Since processing and shipping may take a day or two, we must start practicing our posture!

Up (excuse the pun) with testosterone! Down with cortisol! Also, I am going to see about adding a cape or two to my wardrobe immediately!

Why don’t I already own these?!?

Seriously?!?

These would even fit (and hide) when Skinny Jeans won’t cooperate! Tres chic.

And, of course, a diamond-encrusted one with 14 – karat gold buttons for every day.

Sigh…

Snowmaggedon vs. Hairmaggedon

So, I get the whole “snow day” concept for schools, government, churches and most businesses, BUT HAIR SALONS? Really?!?  Are you sure the roads are THAT dangerous? Did you see MY hair?

I guess not, because my appointment was oh-so-casually-rescheduled. Ugh. But TWO WEEKS! I mean what’s a girl to do? Whew. Two weeks til the next available appointment is like two weeks underwater! Some of you may argue that the title’s reference to Armageddon may be  a little dramatic, but it sure feels like the end-of-the-world to me.

To add insult to injury, I have a MISERABLE COLD. But I am not rescheduling, again!  Finally. Made it to the salon and home safely!

I still look pitiful from my cold but it is definitely an improvement and Scarlett O’Hara seems to love it!

My precious Hair Magician and I had one of our usual talks while I was at the salon.
Self: “Um, it still doesn’t look like the hair commercials!?!  Ugh.”
Magician: “Have you stopped twisting your hair constantly and tying knots with one hand in the ends when you get nervous and stressed?”
Self: shrug
Magician: “Have you stopped chewing the ends at night when you can’t sleep?
Self: half shrug
Magician: “Have you been using the products like we discussed? No, wait! Have you been using anything we DID NOT DISCUSS? Any African Hair Oil?”
Self: blank stare
Magician: “No worries. Let’s get started…”

I came home with a new set of products, assignments from the magician and an appointment for more magic in 8 weeks!  Hooray.

Magician thinks my flat iron is causing damage to my oh-so-fragile hair ends. I thought she was being a little dramatic til last week when I accidentally set the flat iron down next to this plastic bottle. Yikes.

I guess sandwiching my strands between two scalding pieces of metal while I squeeze and pull down repeatedly could cause a little damage over time.  But, it’s so pretty right after you do it.

So shiny and straight and silky and smooth and youthful and glamorous and luxurious. DAMMIT. Every beauty product and tool that actually works has some stupid side affect! Sheez.

Okay-uh! Fine-uh! I’ll try and do the stuff you said-uh! (Prince Charming says I add syllables to words when I get grumpy.)  WHATEVER-UH! I think I just miss the sunshine and fishing and tan lines and not having a cold…

I’m gonna perk up AND try my new hair products. Mostly cuz Sugar-britches just came down stairs to hug his mama and sit by the fire. Stay back, Tears, I mean it!

We just ordered pizza to celebrate snow days and fires, even with a cold!

Hold, please…

Y’all forgive me for the sound of silence this week. I cross-my-heart I am blogging in my head to each of YOU all of the time! Also, I miss you!  But, I have had some really, really, really amazing things happen since the post on my sobriety. Thank you to all of you who have given me a chance to help you or your loved ones. Thank you for sharing your stories, too. I have worn mascara every single day, but cried it off by noon.  Tears of Joy have trumped The Mascara Project this week. Thanks for sticking with me. Patience is truly a virtue. 

Prince Charming has grown very patient in our marriage, as you can see. I know this picture is not all that believable, cuz there are no child or dog skeletons. You’ll have to use your imaginations. Love y’all and can’t wait to catch-up on our lashes.

P.S. Kinda ended up with this nail color by accident but am beyond tickled. It is so cute I have to keep doing a double-take when I look down at my hands. How in the heck am I ever gonna get any work done?!?

P.P.S. I cannot bring myself to move Scarlett O’Hara, so I might have to sleep parallel to the pillows. Also, she’s snoring, so I might not sleep at all…